Q: What is this?
A: Boffery.com is a place for you to document your sexual history and map your sexual connections. You can share this information with trusted friends, and you have full control over who sees what.
Q: Document my... wait, you want me to what?!
A: We know it sounds a little weird, but hear us out for a minute. This is a place for you to talk about your sex life in as much detail as you feel comfortable sharing. It can be your own private diary, or a conversation with friends and lovers, or some combination of both.
Q: Um, okay... so what can I do on the site?
A: Inside the site, you can make spiderweb-style maps that show who you're connected to and who they're connected to. There's lots of space to write short or long descriptions about people, relationships, and experiences, and you can organize it all in a way that helps you learn more about yourself. You can also communicate directly with your friends and see what they're sharing with you.
Q: What about the people that I've fooled around with but haven't gone all the way with?
A: You can include them, too. And don't worry, it won't look like you've done the deed with everyone — there are ways to show what you mean.
Q: What if I want to share more with some friends than with others?
A: With every person on your map, and every piece of information you create about any of them, you'll be able to determine who can see it and who can't. We're taking a tip from Livejournal's privacy settings and letting you create custom friend groups based on however you want to organize the people in your life. You get to decide who knows what about your life.
Q: Will any of this information be public?
A: No, your information is only visible to the people you share your map with. Outsiders won't even be able to search for you to find out if you're using the site. We care about privacy a lot.
Q: If I can't search for my friends, then how do I connect with people?
A: You can invite them to the site by entering their email addresses. If they're already using the site and they agree to connect with you, they'll give you access to their existing account. If this friend also happens to be a sexual partner, you'll have the opportunity to verify that relationship with each other. This will change the way the relationship displays on your map.
Q: Wait... I just realized... People will be writing about me on here, won't they? That's weird! What can I do about it?
A: It's possible that your sexual partners will use this space to talk about your experiences together. Everything they tell here is their own story, just as it would be on any blog or social networking website. We invite you to use this site to tell your own story, too. Telling a story to a friend on Boffery is like telling a story to a friend over dinner — it's contained, it's to someone you trust, and it's not meant for the world to hear. If you want your partners to keep certain things about your time together completely secret, you should talk to your partners about that. This is just a good practice in general.
Q: What if someone's telling lies about me?
A: If someone says false things about you in any situation, online or offline, it's usually a good idea to try to talk to that person about it first. If someone's being a real jerk to you, though, you can report it to us as abuse. We'll investigate it and take appropriate actions.
Q: My sex life isn't like everyone else's. Am I going to feel like a weirdo on this site?
A: We've intentionally kept things simple and flexible. However you relate to sexuality, relationships, partners, dating, gender, anonymity, friendship, whatever... it's all okay. You can make this space fit your life.
Q: So is this a dating site?
A: No, not really. We're not here to help you meet new people, so there's no need for you try to be impressive. Just be yourself and talk to the people you already know. And, hey, if having more intimate conversations with existing friends creates a new a kind of flirtation in your life, then that's your doing, not ours.
Q: Are you trying to map STDs?
A: No, that's not our goal, and we respect your privacy. However, if it seems like our users would appreciate it, we may add some features in the future that would help you manage your sexual health.
Q: Who's behind this?
A: Boffery's founders are Melissa Gira, Nick Douglas, Sarah Dopp, and Mark Resch. We're all based in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Q: How can I get in?
A: Go to our homepage and request an invitation. We might not be able to let you in for a little while (this whole development thing takes time), but we'll give you access as soon as we can. In the meantime, we encourage you to keep an eye on our Tumblr and Twitter so you always have the latest information about the project. Thanks!